FEAR INVENTORY. SOUNDS STRANGE, WORTH IT.

Ok beautiful mumma - stay with me. I get a Fear Inventory might sound strange 🤪🫥😉

 

Have you ever done the groceries only to get home and think 'Dang it - we've now got three bottles of tomato sauce and NO bread!'

 

Taking inventory of what's in the house BEFORE the shop let's you know what you need.

 

Or checking your closet before a shopping spree, can stop you buying ANOTHER blue jumper or a fourth journal 🤭

 

Taking an inventory gives you information to make decisions from. CURRENT information. That's how you'll use your Fear Inventory: you'll get clear about what's worrying you now. 

 

Now let's look at Fear. I hear you - who really wants to face their fears?! This sounds strange but trust me, there's method in my madness :-)

 

When we ignore what's worrying us, it's easy to go down the road of depression, isolation, resentment, frustration, poor decision-making or damaged relationships. And if you're reading this, that's not how you want to spend your days 🙌

 

So, what's Fear?

 

Fear is an 'emotional response to a known or definite threat' (S.Ankrom, VeryWellMind.com).

 

Taking a Fear Inventory helps you regain control, empowerment and OPTIONS. Options stop you feeling stuck. 

 

To start your Fear Inventory:

- Find a nice place such as your comfiest chair with a cuppa, a gorgeous coffee shop or your favourite beach.

- With an open and compassionate heart, Brain Dump everything you're scared of: health of your loved ones, interest rates, being alone, your child being bullied, driving. The list is as endless as there are people in the world.

 

You've now got two choices on how to move forward. Choices are good! They stop you feeling powerless and remind you, you're in control of your life. I understand there's SO MUCH you can't control in life, but what you focus on isn't one of them. Cheers to that!

 

Choice 1

Work your way, one at a time, through each Fear, asking yourself questions such as:

  1. What else scares me about this? (this helps you get deeper than your surface-level fear)
  2. What would be the worst thing if this happened? (again, this is helping you dig in, while you're in a safe mental space to do so)
  3. What would I do if this happened? (here's that awesome word again: OPTIONS!)

 

Choice 2

You review your Fears with compassionate curiosity, to wonder, 'are they Fears or am I Anxious?'

 

To take Choice 2, it's important to understand Fear Vs Anxiety. 

 

Fear and Anxiety are closely related, but also differ.

 

Fear is an emotion that occurs to make your body protect you in the face of danger, by increasing your ability to fight, flight, freeze or fawn. Anxiety does the opposite, by pushing down emotions (H. Jacobs, National Alliance on Mental Health).

 

According to the Australian Psychological Society, anxiety disorders are the most common group of mental health conditions in Australia, affecting 14% of people aged 16-85. Knowing this, it's worth making time to do an Inventory of what's worrying you and more importantly, what you can do about it, don't you agree?

 

Why does facing your fears and anxieties matter to you as a mum?

 

It matters because you're raising & leading children, while modelling how to function through life. And because we weren't taught this in school! Jeepers - if anyone has the answer to feeling calm 24/7 WITHOUT meditating on a mountain top, I'm sure mums would love to hear it, am I right?!

 

But feeling calm 24/7 isn't what we're striving for 'cause that's not a realistic human experience.

 

What we CAN work toward is feeling empowered and capable, regardless of what life throws at us. Agreed? Great, let's keep going.

 

That leads us back to Choice 2.

 

With compassionate curiosity, you can evaluate if your Fears are fears or anxiety. One reason to do this is to provide your brain with new knowledge. The only way to grow and develop is to learn new ways of being. Better ways of being. Also, compassionately understanding that your fear might actually be your perception, or a strategy to help you ignore deeper emotions, allows you such ownership and control! Afterall, you don't want to live with your nervous system feeling like every day is a life or death situation. Hundreds of years ago, life WAS a life-or-death situation, but in 2023, it isn't. 

 

So, honour yourself and your mothering role by:

- Brain Dumping your fears and anxieties (hiding from them doesn't make them go away)

- Getting some mindful perspective (How true or likely are they? Can you think of others who've grown through these worries and use the as an example that you'll be ok?)

- Brainstorming OPTIONS! (breath work, counselling/coaching, changing your thinking)

- Reminding yourself DAILY that you're in control of your thoughts and choices. It just takes practice to change old ways.

 

I talk on Fear Inventory in my Members Only Podcast in EMPOWERED, the online membership to empower you and your child. Come join us or reach out to me learn more. 

 

A Fear Inventory might sound strange, but it's worth it if it helps raise empowered children!

 

And remember, if you're struggling with mental illness, seek professional advice.

 

Stay amazing,

Catherine

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