LETTING GO OF HARD AND HURTFUL THINGS

You're content with life, feeling at last like you're on track. Children are happy. Days are good. You even have a little bounce in your step. Then WOOSHKA - someone says or does something that hurts you and your mood comes crashing down.

Your high vibe is replaced with a tight jaw, slumped shoulders, quickened heart rate or maybe even tears. Yep - it wasn't just your emotions that changed, your body responded too.

The response in your body was because this feeling is a remembered pattern. Your body and brain are very clever and their job is to protect you and keep you safe. They don't want you getting hurt, so when something happens that's caused pain in the past, your brain and body move straight into alert!

Understanding this helps you learn how to calm them. Deep breaths to soothe your nervous system is the best first step.

Experiencing hard times and being hurt by others is inevitable in this game of life. You haven't gotten this far without feeling them and unfortunately, you can't keep either of them from your children.

But how do you let go of hard and hurtful things?

Firstly, you don't. If it hurt you, it hurt you. That feeling deserves honouring AND investigation. Honouring because there's a reason your body reacted the way it did. Investigation because the hurt is like a key to a room you're yet to discover. And when you open the door and enter that space, be prepared to look around awhile. Take in it's colourings, inhabitants, furniture, objects, purpose and feel. This 'room' is where your hurt has been living. Before you can let the hurt go you must discover how it got there and why. Answers to this give you the opportunity to heal underlying damage that began this triggering of your emotional state.

Whatever it was that triggered your reaction has been an issue in your life before. It may have presented differently, such as by a different person or situation, but the patterning is the same. Did the pain trigger feelings of incompetency, fear, put-downs, abuse, disrespect? The list of possibilities is as long as there are people in the world because we're each unique, with individual stories of loves and losses, pleasures and pains.

After you've taken time to explore what the REAL reason this situation or comment caused your reaction, you get to choose EMPOWERMENT. As humans, we have control over our brains, yet we only use 4% of it consciously! Your awareness of why you became reactive to this situation or comment is the catalyst that brings you to the fork in the road: growth or staying stuck.

Let's aim for growth, shall we?

In practice, growth looks like an inspired vision, personal accountability and CHOICES.

Our signature coaching program EMPOWERED breaks it down for you:

1. Dream It: get clear on who and how you want to be. Full Stop. Make this new identity your daily mantra. For example, 'I am safe in who I am', 'My power lies in me', 'I choose me', 'My mind and emotions are my own'. I encourage you to create your own for true alignment, assimilation and ownership.

2. Own It: commit to taking 100% responsibility for control of yourself. Nope, you can't make others 'wake up', be more thoughtful or make better choices. You can only do you, so commit to doing that.

3. Live It: the next time your body signals the same feelings of hard or hurt, pause, breath and choose by reminding yourself of the mantra you chose in Step 1. What action or response will most align you to who and how you want to be, regardless of what has happened?

Next time you feel reactive, try these steps, then email me your thoughts. I love hearing from you. And if you're looking for more support, inspiration and strategies, come join our Community in EMPOWERED the membership

Sincerely,

Catherine x