“I didn’t want to die. I just didn’t know how to live.”


When I heard a happily married father and 7 figure entrepreneur say this, it hit me.


He was recounting a time from his younger years where he was lost and depressed and thinking he didn’t want to be here anymore, until one night, he stood looking at the car accident he just survived and had that realisation, “I didn’t want to die. I just didn’t know how to live.”


Have you had conversations or thoughts where you feel at a loss, like you’ve tried everything and nothing’s working? I know I have. And it’s hard. Especially when you KNOW there’s more in you than you can muster, when you don’t WANT to be this person, when you feel there HAS to be a better way, a more sustainable way, a happier way.


If you have, know you’re not alone. Please, know you're not alone. There are millions of ‘before and after’ stories of people turning their life around. Their health, relationships, career, parenting, finances, illnesses, mindset. I promise, you can find them if you start looking. People who've gone from rock bottom to creating a life of their dreams.


“The key to success is to focus our conscious mind on things we desire,

not things we fear”

Brian Tracy


Here’s 5 reasons to use before and after stories as a support strategy for reminding yourself you're ok and that life can be better:

  1. You’re taking intentional and positive action toward a goal … and it can be as easy and gentle as lying in bed on your phone! (Now that's handy when you're in a bed-ridden funk)
  2. The algorithm will start to work in your favour. Before you know it, your feed will be working behind the scenes to bring you snapshots of inspo and motivation without you even asking.
  3. You’ll switch your Reticular Activating System (RAS) on. The RAS is your brain’s navigating system that keeps you safe and functioning in the world. It deletes, distorts and generalises zillions of pieces of information coming at you, by locking onto ‘familiar’ things. Have you noticed when you’re wanting to have a baby, everyone’s pregnant? Or when you want to buy a new Hyundai, you see Hyundia’s everywhere? Maybe you've been eyeing off a new outfit and bam, there it is on someone else. That’s your RAS in action. When you start seeing, then believing in positive before-and-after stories, your brain will begin to notice them more easily. This ignites a light in your brain that says ‘it was possible for them, maybe it's possible for me too'.
  4. You want to love and lead with intention and purpose: that means learning to control your mindset and thoughts. I can’t say ‘practice makes perfect’ because managing our emotional and mental health is a life-long lesson, but you’ll NEVER regret applying this intention.... especially when you say it pay off for your family.
  5. You matter and you’re needed, that’s why!


Let me clarify, when I say a ‘before-and-after’ story, I’m not encouraging you to seek out examples that are unrealistic, dangerous or make you feel worse. I’m talking real humans, real women who’ve had a challenge, got through it, and had the calling to share their story.


Here’s a few you can take or leave:

  • Brene Brown is now a world-renowned speaker, author and researcher. She used to be an alcoholic.
  • Michelle B Rogers went from a victim mindset, poor upbringing and a recent autism diagnosis of her two year old, to a millionaire, coaching mums of children with autism. Special!
  • Gabby Bernstein is known as a self-development guru with a podcast, speaking engagements, books and more. She used to be addicted to drugs and alcohol.
  • Jess Dukes took control of her life, starting with her health. She now coaches and empowers hundreds of women on a similar journey of wellbeing.
  • Krista St Germain was suddenly widowed and left to raise her two children alone. Since learning the tools to ‘bounce-forward’ she’s now a Life Coach for widowed mums.
  • Lil' ol' me! I was a depressed teen mum who alienated every relationship, but by looking within, have surpassed any dream I remotely thought possible.


So my sweet friend, if you're in a rut, feeling low, or just want to uplevel, maybe it's time to surround yourself with examples of women who've achieved what you want to achieve. As you do, take this hack with you: look for the mindset shift that took them from then to now. To before to after. That's where the secret will lie.


Big hugs,



PS if this is up your alley, so too will be my online membership EMPOWERED. Click HERE for more info!


Thanks for visiting!

Click below to get my latest blogs - and other inspiration - in your inbox each week. And if you change your mind, just unsubscribe - easy :-)